I often find myself slowly picking through a room in my heart. The room is rotten, dirty, smelly and the walls are corroded and there is broken glass all over the floor. Some of the brokenness is caused by me and some have been vandalized by an uncaring enemy.
Jesus told me the other night to be patient with Him. When I'm in these room, I find that impatience with myself and impatience coming from other people makes me direct a full blown attack of impatience onto Jesus.
Jesus told me to be patient with Him. He gets me. He knows me. And all He wants is for me to look into His eyes and have faith that He knows the exact and perfect timing for everything...for all the things in my life that I'm waiting and striving for. He wants me to tell Him that I believe He orchestrates everything in my life at a specific time and introduces everything to me in the best way...tailor made for me.
I do.
01 April 2012
22 January 2012
Weirdly Gone
This past Thursday night, I arrived home, expecting to plug my phone charger into my phone and chat with a friend. Instead, I found a ransacked home with a broken window and a decent amount of cash, my laptop, some vintage jewelry and my roommate's professional camera & equipment gone. Disappeared.
I called my roommate and she came home from school, hysterically saying we needed to call the police. They came, we joked, they fingerprinted, we lamented over the fact that this was the 6th home burglary in a two block radius in the past week.
The only word that continued to accurately describe my emotions over the following 36 hours was "weird". It's weird accepting the fact that two men that I've never seen or met have been in my room and have sorted through my things in my nightstand - a place that only two or three people in the entire world have seen. It's weird thinking that my laptop, the thing that has the past three years of my music, papers, pictures - a compilation of my life - is gone. Not to be retrieved but only replaced by an empty, yet welcoming, OS in a computer body that is indefinitely out of my reach. It's weird finding out how I react to a terrible situation -- slowly, mostly without hysterics, numbly, randomly spurting out confused tears.
Let's be real. All of the doors that I thought once very warm and inviting now seem to be closed against my persistent knocks. Who I thought I was going to be and what I thought I was going to do is completely different than who I am right now in this moment. And something like this, a robbery of the physical and of innocence, is the thing making me stop and realize the truth.
If you want to hide your money well, put it in a designated wastebasket and cover it with a thin layer of not disgusting trash. Be sure to never empty this specific wastebasket and the robber will never waste his time looking there.
Don't live out of fear. Live out of Love. Preaching to the choir, live from Hope. It's the safest place to be.
*I am praying for an empty, yet welcoming, Lion OS.
I called my roommate and she came home from school, hysterically saying we needed to call the police. They came, we joked, they fingerprinted, we lamented over the fact that this was the 6th home burglary in a two block radius in the past week.
The only word that continued to accurately describe my emotions over the following 36 hours was "weird". It's weird accepting the fact that two men that I've never seen or met have been in my room and have sorted through my things in my nightstand - a place that only two or three people in the entire world have seen. It's weird thinking that my laptop, the thing that has the past three years of my music, papers, pictures - a compilation of my life - is gone. Not to be retrieved but only replaced by an empty, yet welcoming, OS in a computer body that is indefinitely out of my reach. It's weird finding out how I react to a terrible situation -- slowly, mostly without hysterics, numbly, randomly spurting out confused tears.
Let's be real. All of the doors that I thought once very warm and inviting now seem to be closed against my persistent knocks. Who I thought I was going to be and what I thought I was going to do is completely different than who I am right now in this moment. And something like this, a robbery of the physical and of innocence, is the thing making me stop and realize the truth.
If you want to hide your money well, put it in a designated wastebasket and cover it with a thin layer of not disgusting trash. Be sure to never empty this specific wastebasket and the robber will never waste his time looking there.
Don't live out of fear. Live out of Love. Preaching to the choir, live from Hope. It's the safest place to be.
*I am praying for an empty, yet welcoming, Lion OS.
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