Before and Forever

 But before all that.

Before I was ever a disappointment, a burden,
A tie to a soured dream..
I was loved.

I was formed in silence
Within the awe of a selah from heaven.
A banner of love was placed over me;
Visions, dreams and purpose were buried deep within my heart,
Ready to be discovered with the companionship of the
Creator of the universe.

I was wanted before I was born,
I was valued before I proved anything.
I was made to be consumed in love
And to love wholeheartedly in return.

No introduction to this world;
To the lies, to the sorrows, to the
Cold-heartedness of men,
Can ever take away the Truth,
This reality of Light and Breath.
That I am this one -
Formed at the beginning of time,
Sealed to this love for all eternity through Jesus Christ.
Amen.

1.5.21

Moon

If hope is the moon,
Then I am its beholder,
Reveling in the pale light
That gives proof of its origin.

Daylight exists even when it's dark,
And I am caught with my face
Lifted up, to drink in the promise.

The promise I will stand in the sun again,
That I will see Justice and know Truth and feel
The full weight of the Kingdom built on Love.

From one glory to another I will ride,
With each dawn that awakens, until the moon
Is finally eclipsed by the full light of day
And I see You, my Love, face-to-face.

6.19.24

Freedom

God is the freest Being in the universe;
It cannot be given or taken from Him.
Yet He gave me the power of my will
To decide what I will extend to Him
And what I will hold close to my chest.

I will give Him freedom
To show up how He wants and when He wants,
To act in the discipline of Trust
When it feels like absence or is a testing I don't understand. 

Freedom to act and give as He chooses
Knowing I am loved faithfully and He is good consistently.
Freedom to experience an undeniable wave of love one day
And the next day, bland as it feels,
Know I am just as seen.

To accept Him as He is,
To trust in His goodness and faithfulness.
To know He is perfect and makes no mistakes.

Giving Him freedom gives me the
Ability to see more of Him.
Perhaps, giving Him freedom is more about
Me giving myself freedom...
Freedom to see Him a little more clearly,
Space to fall more in love with Him, fearlessly.

 

12.16.23

An Ode to Harriet

And off into the darkness we go.
In the stillness of the night,
The light of the moon before us.
We cut through the waters as
Smooth as perfect timing.

Leaving all the stories and all the loves behind,
Trusting that their time will come, too.
From the noisy cities that drown out Silence
And the dusty roads that steals Vision one grain at a time;
The ones irritated by their scratchy wool garments
And the thousandth trail made by lice in their hair.

A third, a fourth, a seventeenth time of reckoning
Will beckon,
An open pursuit for those who dare to dream,
Who dare to take it.
Their time will come, too.

For now, we go alone.
Hailing to the other silent canoes
That slice their way through the holy waters
Strangers and comrades alike,
Heading towards their freedom.
Heading towards their home.


11.13.24

For Us

My heart knew what it needed..
Or, at least it thought it did.

It was told what was needed
And did fine to dwell on those answers
Given by the trusted around me
The voice of the Accuser
And the mind that had "figured it out.

You were there, too, breaking in
Like soft rays of sunshine filtering through
The mess of bombardments and half-truths
With the soft song of love that only
Intimacy can sing
And the knowing only a Creator can bring.

It would be a long journey back home..
But You were always in it.
You were always in it for me.
You were always in it for us.


10.11.23

Hope

Hope, which once was defined by promises diluted by fantasy, becomes a new term to me, because the old way doesn’t cut it anymore.


 

Being a Christian, “a little Christ,” becomes more offensive when the glories that are available through Jesus comes hand-in-hand with the suffering of picking up my cross. But to be identified with anything less than that only leads to true suffering and death. 
Any core identity in me that takes charge over my identity in Christ is simply a greater separation from the Father. The One who gives life and meaning to every title. Who gives purpose to every position on this earth.
 Without finding my identity in Him first, all other identities will fail me and never fulfill me. He is the key ingredient that runs through all of life. The baking soda to chocolate chip cookies that will cause them to fall at the end if forgotten.

 

Hope is the Way of Jesus Christ.

He was confident the Father would give Him what He was promised, even in the midst of ridicule, abandonment, temptations and crucifixion. That his life wasn’t in vain, nor all that he suffered. That, by all earthly matters - dead is done - but his trust was in the Father raising him, as He said He would.


 

Jesus’ hope was in the Father. 

His greatest reward was to be with Him at His right hand. His final hope was in nothing this world could provide, or the promises awaiting him. It was intimacy with the Father and knowing Him - His goodness, His faithfulness, His beauty, His eternity. Knowing and believing these things. 

 

His hope was in the Father - held up by a firm belief that God would be always who He said He is, for He cannot lie or fail. 

Held up by his intimate knowing that He is the greatest pleasure of all.

 

 

5.2.23

Corroded Walls

I often find myself slowly picking through a room in my heart.  The room is rotten, dirty, smelly and the walls are corroded and there is broken glass all over the floor.  Some of the brokenness is caused by me and some have been vandalized by an uncaring enemy.

Jesus told me the other night to be patient with Him.  When I'm in these room, I find that impatience with myself and impatience coming from other people makes me direct a full blown attack of impatience onto Jesus.

Jesus told me to be patient with Him.  He gets me.  He knows me.  And all He wants is for me to look into His eyes and have faith that He knows the exact and perfect timing for everything...for all the things in my life that I'm waiting and striving for.  He wants me to tell Him that I believe He orchestrates everything in my life at a specific time and introduces everything to me in the best way...tailor made for me.

I do.